She sleeps to dream. In the brightest of hours, wrapped in blankets too warm for the weather, she stays inside.
Because in her dreams there is a life that she hasn’t been granted, one filled with lavender scented paper and silk blouses. The ground is always below her, so searching for gravity isn’t necessary. Neither are all of the self-affirmations or classes on self-esteem. She is a graduate of the school of healing, and an active member of a society that returns good deeds.
It’s unlike the waking hours, where she cries because she’s lonely but can’t commit to putting herself out there to find what she wants. She’s not a conundrum in her subconscious musings; she’s a woman who understands that life only gets better when risks are taken. So she makes left turns when her gut tells her to, even though she knows where the road straight ahead leads. And she enjoys the adventure in getting lost close to home, because it’s okay to learn new routes back to the most known places.
Her dreams are in color, because her real-life seems to be safer when she lives in black and white. If you don’t know him, he can’t be trusted. If you know him, he’s already proven that he’s not good enough. But in her dreams everyone is good and decent and fair. More than that, every heart is given freely and equally, so the outpouring of love is so prevalent, that nobody has to be scared to fall. Souls are crimson and amethyst and sapphire.
She stays awake knowing that the longer she keeps her eyes open, the longer she’ll be able to go back to the world inside of her head and heart at night. So she runs extra miles or works extra hours to exhaust herself. And she’s never really refreshed because her mind works madly while she’s covered in blankets. But she always wants to go there, because she’s free of all of the insecurities in her real life.
She says she believes that someday her dream world will become a reality. She knows that it’s probably better to want to stay awake, but living in the grays and blacks and whites, it isn’t always easy to silence the Sirens who take her crashing back into dreamland.