There’s something about recognizing pain that makes it more bearable. Trying to silence a loud hurt only makes it more prominent. Who wants pain to be the keeper of their heart?
This week I talked to the sadness, instead of only acknowledging its existence. I told it that I was listening, so it spoke softly in kind words and slowly took a backseat to everything else. Suddenly the pain and anguish, the resentment, the agony of living with heartbreak seems so much less important than breathing and loving.
Today, my heart is screaming praise and thanks.I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself, blackening the part of me that is my strength. Now, she’s free again. She’s free to love and trust herself, which makes it okay to feel safe in loving and trusting others.
Last time I talked about freedom, I spoke of forgiveness. Isn’t it funny how life teaches you, in an instant, that you will never be an expert?
Have you ever taken a step that seems so large that you can’t possibly begin to explain it? A moment that makes you realize you’ll never be the same only makes life seem so much more worthwhile. Pain doesn’t have to be constant. You just have to tell it that it’s okay if it backs off for a bit.
Driving isn’t hard. I’m not scared when people smile. I let a laugh out that was so big, my voice was broken the next day. After, I landed safely in an open room. Walls were nonexistent. And the light started growing without me asking it to come. There was a warmth without extra layers.
All it took was a little empathy for myself. All I did was accept that I’m hurting. Love really is simple.
I don’t need others to show me love today because I learned how to love myself.
Don’t ever resent sadness. Don’t ever make it impossible for yourself to live on your own. Don’t keep yourself down. Accept that things are ugly. Cry about them. Scream. Become overwhelmed with anxiety and hurt. Tell your heart that you’re listening and it won’t be so loud. In fact, it’ll thank you for trying.
I know mine did. And, tonight, I’m rejoicing in the work that I’ve been doing.
Holy shit, it’s really working.