I received an email from a friend tonight. She saw a psychic who told her to put her eggs in one basket and go for it with the guy she’s been pining after for quite some time. As it goes, she was seeking some verification that she’s not crazy for believing in the powers that we don’t truly understand.
A friend of mine, who I recently told about my experience, asked me for my psychic’s contact information. He wants to go see the woman who told me so much about my future. He asked me if I thought that was crazy. I don’t.
Isn’t it interesting how someone else, who claims to see the future, can hold so much power over the present?
I’ve been living my life like a girl who seeks answers by plucking the petals from a daisy. Hope hauntingly sending echos, dangling from a shiny ribbon. It’s the only thing I see right now, like a road sign struck by headlights.
Releasing control of outcomes stirs childlike optimism and excitement. The answer isn’t as significant as the ability to let go. Even when the pattern is solved “He loves me, he loves me not…” and the solution known, the comfort of pulling each petal until the stem is naked is most important. Since I’ve seen my psychic, I’ve been counting petals before uprooting flowers, making the whole process artificial.
I don’t know the answers, but I know that I need to stop being so strategic. Choose one flower, without knowing how many petals will fall, and allow the process to end when it’s time.
My psychic said that I’ll have more answers in May (or June). She kept telling me to ‘hold on’ and ‘keep moving forward.’ Regardless of what that means for my love life, I think I need to follow this advice. Perhaps Tim isn’t going to show up then. Perhaps he’ll never show up. What I do know is this: I’m healing. I don’t need to risk tainting the process by allowing someone else in to my life. Friends? Yes. Anything else? Not a chance.
I’m not ready. I know this. I have some healing to do before I’m ready to start over with anyone else. It just can’t happen.
Spring is around the corner. I’m going to wait for new plants to grow. No purchases from the florist are as organic as the flowers that come on their own time.
I will wait.