Skepticism runs through my veins. Perhaps it’s a bi-product of my experiences or, potentially, because I never stop thinking. Regardless, doubt surrounds every decision I make. In between the few moments of certainty, I’ve developed the skill to recognize reluctance, shut it down, and live.
Bella and my mom went to see a psychic a few months ago. Ever since then I’ve secretly wanted to go too. I’ve been to a few readers and every time I hold on to their words and wait for things to happen. Some premonitions have been realized while others remain unborn. I don’t want to know what steps to make, but I certainly like the hope these readings can provide. We all need hope.
For my birthday, I asked my mom if she would pay for a reading. I needed truckloads of hope. My mom added to my request. Together, my mom, Bella, and I would visit a psychic to celebrate the beginning of the new year. Our Christmas slumber party idea fell through, so we needed to spend some quality time together. Since they didn’t like the psychic they saw earlier in the year, we found another one. I would be the guinea pig. I went to see her Saturday.
While I can’t say that I’m completely convinced that these practices are legitimate, I can say that I’ve seen situations where visions have been pretty accurate. If only for entertainment, it’s still interesting to listen to predictions and watch your future unfold.
Upon arriving, I sat in an over-sized leather chair. The office was warm and the atmosphere inviting. The scents of orange and lavender intermingled and danced through the air. The suite looked more like a spa than a psychic’s office. I was instantly comfortable and so was my reader. Within a minute of entering, she was already giving me insight into the next year of my life.
I was taken aback by how quickly she started in, explaining that she would give me her thoughts and only after she was done could I ask questions. She explained that this made her visions more accurate, as my interacting with her might blur images. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what she had to say…
James loves me, but he’s immature and unable to give. Although his intentions are genuine (he wants me around), he won’t compromise. Looking directly at me she explained that I’d made the right decision to move forward. He and I were not meant to be together, even though we share love for each other.
She saw a vision of me standing under a rainbow. This rainbow represented goodness, hope, and healing. Her belief was that the image was symbolic of me moving forward from all of the hurt and struggles of the past two years. My life, according to my reading, is heading in the right direction.
I have three angels looking over me. One of the angels is my grandma. She wanted me to know that she would be at my wedding. As I held back tears, I felt an overwhelming sense of closure. I always think about that moment, and the fact that she won’t be there. That statement was enough to make my visit worthwhile.
Someone is going to regret losing me and resurface, asking for a second chance. I wish I would have asked her if she meant James or Ike, but based on the rest of the reading I’m going with James. Regardless, she sat across the room from me, rocking slowly back and forth, repeating “Don’t go, don’t go with him…wait, just wait for love. He’s coming.”
2011 is supposed to be one of the best years I’ve had. I’m going to move, gain more from my career, and (drum roll, please) meet my future husband. He’s coming.
We haven’t met, but we will before the end of the year and before the end of 2012, he’ll be my husband.
He’s a man who will absolutely adore me. He’ll love everything about me and appreciate what I bring to the table. He won’t take me for granted. She said he’s perfect. He’s Catholic (psssh…there goes perfection). We’ll have a big wedding. We’ll have real flowers.
Then, two years later, we’ll have our first child. Shortly thereafter, we’ll have our second (and last) child.
She told me about my grandma, my wedding, my kids, and then moved on to my career and health. In the middle of telling me that I needed to take more vitamins (B and C), she let out a small gasp, lifted her eyes to look directly into mine, and smiled.
“It’s Tim. His name is Tim. Sometimes I don’t get a name, but God must have wanted you to have this, because I just got it. His name is Tim.”
While I can’t say that I’m completely convinced that this is true, I can say that the hour I spent with her provided enough of the hope I sought to break down a few barriers around my heart. With walls crumbling, I’ve been smiling all day. It’s time for me to reopen my heart to chance and possibility. The next several months are going to be a rebirth. If I have the opportunity to meet my ‘forever’ soon, I want to be ready.
While driving home from my visit with my family tonight, I turned on the radio. My mind was full of thoughts, hope, and determination. And while I sat there, listening to a radio station that is often called one for generation-x, an unlikely song’s melody infused energy in my car. Listen to the lyrics, it’s almost as if my reader was speaking to me again today, reminding me of what I need to look for over the next few months. Namely, hope.
I danced the rest of the way home. Knowing that, with my grandma smiling down on me, and a voice telling me to keep moving, possibilities for 2011 are endless.