When I was younger, I had a bit of a temper problem. And on top of that, a terrible issue with blaming others for my problems.
If something seemed unfair, you’d better believe I’d point that out before you could finish blinking.
My dad, who also has a bit of a temper, tried to remain calm in our exchanges. Because of this, I constantly tried to provoke some emotion from him. His (sometimes) coolheadedness really tweaked my nerves.Eventually, I’d start spewing insults his way and/or blaming him for my feelings. Needless to say, this behavior got me nowhere. I had a case of teen angst, that’s all.
My dad, the man who always told me to ‘strap on a set’ or ‘grow a pair’ (I think he secretly wanted a son), also threw another saying at me that has stuck with me through the years…
“Only you can control your happiness, Fina”
As I got older, this became more of a mantra than I’ve ever actually acknowledged.
This is the second night in a row that I’ll be disregarding the 30 Days prompt. Because, while it’s nice to think you have heroes, I’m a firm believer that they’ll all let you down at some point.
People make mistakes. We all do it. I can’t idolize someone for their ability to be perfect because nobody is perfect. I refuse to put anyone on a pedestal. Why? Because as humans we falter. It’s completely inappropriate for me to judge others for their moments of weakness or the bad decisions they make, when I’m guilty of those same things. Without the pedestal, they’ll always remain at my eyesight where I can look at them for who they are, not what they’ve done that was wrong.
I’ve always said I’d be my own hero. I’m living in that statement right now.
It’d be nice to have someone rescue me, but why depend on someone else when I can rescue myself?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m appreciative of the help I’ve received over the years. I wouldn’t be who I am today without it. But I don’t depend on the people who helped me before, because I can’t expect them to clean my messes again.
I’m my own hero, ladies and gentlemen and there isn’t an ounce of my body that’s disappointed in who I’ve become or where I’ve been. Live and learn. Love.