When thinking about college, there are two things I’ll always remember:
- The great friends I met my first day of school. How, even after ten years, they fill my life with more joy than they can possibly imagine.
We met through girls that lived on my floor in the dorm. The two roommates (the girls) and I quickly became friends and, about this time ten years ago (literally almost to the day), they introduced me to him.
Ed was from the same city as me, but we grew up in entirely different suburbs. I grew up in a lower-middle/middle-class community. It was diverse and I feel blessed to have lived there, but we didn’t always have the best of everything. I was appreciative of what my parents could provide. Seeing how others lived around me, I knew we were doing alright. My socio-economic status created a sense of thankfulness…even if I didn’t show it often enough.
Ed, however, grew up in an upper-middle class area, where it wasn’t uncommon to have your own bathroom attached to your bedroom (I know, it’s not really a big deal. But seriously? Is it really necessary?). He was polished. His parents forced him to take one of those ‘character’ building classes for adolescents. Think debutante ball, except for boys. He dressed well, he always smelled good, and he had perfect teeth. Ed’s blue eyes were although striking, not very sexy. In fact, nothing about him was really sexy. He was too kind for sexiness…but, still, can’t be described as anything other than perfect. You could see that kindness, that perfection, through his eyes and it made you want to be more honest, more lovable. I was a better person around him.
He was of solid structure…a pitcher, he had a ball player’s body. And, even though I never knew I was an ‘ass’ girl, I became one when I dated him. His was great. To be honest, I’d still say that when I met Ed, he was everything a girl could dream to have in a boyfriend. And he was mine.
His face and body were flawless, but they weren’t too structured to become intimidating. He looked strong enough to take care of you, but soft enough to care. It was easy to imagine myself pressed up against his body, without ever feeling self-conscious. And when he became mine, it was something I thought about regularly.
I didn’t know anyone at the house party where we met. My two friends (the roommates) took me out with them, to meet their high school friends. The entire group was a full-year older than us, and I was a bit intimidated by hanging out with them. They were a tight-knit group, and liked keeping it that way. I was one month into my freshman year of college and unsure of myself. Although territorial, the girls allowed me into their clique for the night.
After several rounds of Asshole, I was well on my way to drunkenness. While the girls were a little stand-offish, the guys wanted to delegate all of their drinks to me. And, after getting me nice and liquored-up, they started plotting to get me and Ed together. I wasn’t sure why the cute guy across the room couldn’t come talk to me, if he liked me…so I asked. His friends assured me that he was totally into me, but that he was even more shy than they could explain. The tigress in me saw an opportunity to test that theory. If I went to talk to him and he was flirty, I’d know his friends were just playing a game.
He was shy. Almost awkward, really. But eventually he got the hang of the conversation and, as things go, we kissed for the first time that night.
There wasn’t an exchange of numbers, there was no ‘let’s hang out soon,” and there was no way for me to get in touch with him, unless I bugged the girls.
Fortunately for me, I didn’t have to do any bugging. He asked them first. I’d never had anyone so handsome pursue me.
After two weeks of hanging out, emailing, and talking on the phone, Ed decided he was ready to make our relationship official. On October 30th, we became Mr. and Mrs. Perfect Couple…and remained that way for the next 3 years.
If people weren’t envious of the relationship we had, they didn’t know enough about it. We were nothing short of perfect for each other. I pulled him out of his shyness when we were around people that he didn’t know. He helped me filter my Italian anger/hotheadedness. Without having to really say anything to one another, it just worked. Oh yeah, and his friends accepted me as a member of their group.
He spoiled me. He made me feel more special than anyone else had (or even has up to this point). He taught me what a partnership should be, without knowing he was teaching me anything. He showed me what it meant to truly respect another human being. He made me laugh when Bella was in the hospital. He wiped my tears when my Granny was diagnosed with Cancer, he held my shaking hand when we found out it was terminal, and he held me up when she died.
Because of this, I often think about Ed. Especially in the dark times of my previous relationships, I would remember my time with Ed and know that, even if I wasn’t meant to be with him, I certainly wasn’t meant to be where I was either.
You see, Day 9 of my 30 Days of Truth experiment is supposed to be about a person that I didn’t want to let go, but drifted. Day 10 is about a person I wish I could let go. In many ways, Ed fits both days. See you tomorrow.