Day 1- Something I Hate about Myself.


Let the 30-day blog-party commence.

Each day has a new topic. The commonality? I have to discuss each truthfully. No bullshit, no fluff…real, raw, (and probably) sometimes r-rated.

If you didn’t see my last post, I grabbed this idea from another blog-writing friend.

Here’s the breakdown:

Day 01 – Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 – Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 – Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 – Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 – Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 – Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 – Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 – Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 – Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 – Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 – Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 – Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 – Write a letter to a band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.

Day 14 –  Write a letter to a hero that has let you down.

Day 15 – Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 – Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 – A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 – Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 – What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 – Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 – (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 – Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 – Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 – Make a play-list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

Day 25 – The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 – Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 – What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 – What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 – Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 – A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Here we go.

****

My Kryptonite is my heart. Yes, it really is THE thing I hate most about myself.

I’m known as the ‘smart’ friend. I have the right words to say at the right moment, I can have a conversation with most, and if you’ve read a book I probably have too. It’s just the way I like living. I get pop-culture references; I’m a fan of staying relevant…sue me. However, the majority of my friends are astounded by some of the unbelievably awkward/painful situations for which I’ve been involved.

My brain works wonderfully. My heart does too (it’s also my biggest asset). The problem? My heart overrides my brain 98% of the time, sending a big Eff-you to logic/reasoning/common sense.

My helping-heart kept me in a relationship with Ike for far longer than I should’ve stayed. Yes, even after my brain was telling me that if I didn’t leave I’d find myself in a grave. It kept hope alive that James would wake the-funk up. Yes, even after he flat-out told me ‘no’ enough times to train a small puppy. And, sadly, it still releases emotions (directly related to both of these examples) that lead me to believe I need a major prescription of “Hi, I’m crazy” pills.

But the thing that bothers me most is…more than any one of those examples…the root of the problem.

I give far too much. I sacrifice my happiness for people who really don’t give a shit about me. And then I’m hurt by it. I suffer because I follow my big, pathetic, obviously eager heart into the lion’s den.

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3 thoughts on “Day 1- Something I Hate about Myself.

  1. Ah, yes. Dissolving boundaries a great personal expense. Guilty! Hard to remember how much you’re worth, huh? Always strikes me odd how easy it is for us to take care of others, but not ourselves.
    You’re not alone, babycakes. Not by a long-shot. Try and remember that. xo

  2. “I give far too much. I sacrifice my happiness for people who really don’t give a shit about me. And then I’m hurt by it. I suffer because I follow my big, pathetic, obviously eager heart into the lion’s den.”

    Wow. Wow wow wow! How do you take what I FEEL and put it into words?

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