14. Take Off


I had to work the day that I was flying out to see James. It wasn’t really an issue because he had to work that evening too. We’d planned my trip trying to avoid using personal days at work. The first weekend in October ended up being perfect. He’d be getting off work an hour after I arrived (if my flight was on time).

Because of the time gap, I knew I’d be hanging out at the airport for a while. I brought magazines and my phone had internet capabilities. I knew I’d be able to entertain myself. So, after packing all of my necessities, I headed to work with my luggage in tow.

I wasn’t close to many of the girls at work yet, so talking about my trip only made me feel awkward. Still, not talking about it was making my nerves jacked. Why?

James and I had been talking consistently for 1.5 months now. We had discussed his hesitancy to get involved in a long distance relationship and my hesitancy to jump into anything because of my last relationship. Of course when James told me that he was hesitant, he wasn’t lying. When I told James I was hesitant, I was trying to seem unavailable (that always worked with him).

Through all of that, he asked me to come visit him. I knew that meant something. I wasn’t sure what it meant exactly, but why the hell would a guy invite a girl to another city to visit, if he wasn’t interested in some sort of relationship? This trip…this two day mini-vacation…was a good time to feel that out. It was crucial that we had a good time. My plan? Make him laugh, act as if I was not bothered by the uncertainty, and (if things got dirty) make sure James needed a wheelchair to get around. If we were going to have sex, it was going to blow his mind.

So, my work day was dragging. I finally opened up to one girl who I talked to more than anyone else. She convinced me to ask my director if I could head out a few minutes early. She agreed. With that time I went straight to Walgreen’s to get sinus meds. The yuck that I felt two days previous to today had only progressed. I was feeling mighty shitty.

My friend Ellen agreed to drop me off at my terminal so I didn’t have to leave my vehicle at the airport. We talked about the situation. She swore that her mother didn’t know. Which lead me to believe that James’ mother didn’t know either.  And, as luck would have it, my friend Megan (the flight attendant) was flying into town an hour before I was to leave. She was going to hang out with me while I waited for my flight. Even though I felt (physically) awful, my soul was at ease about my decision to visit.

Megan got to the airport a bit early so we had time to talk. I needed it. I had been holding back all day and now one of my dearest friends (who gave me the ticket to go) was there to see me off. We sat down and I ate a cheeseburger from Burger King. My stomach was feeling better. I purchased an extra-large diet Coke to make sure I had enough caffeine in my system for the next several hours. The flight to his city wasn’t far, but flying can be exhausting, especially if you don’t know your way around an airport.

Megan literally stood by my side until I boarded the plane. She hugged me, said “Good luck, Fina. I love you!” and watched as I boarded. Good friends like that don’t come around every day. Thanks, Megan. You were so great that day.

The rest of my trip is a little blurry. The departure to the landing is all one big jumble. This leads me to believe that I was absorbed in massive amounts of thought. But, nevertheless, we touched down safely and as the captain gave his final speech, I knew that I had one hell of  a weekend to produce.

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